What’s in an Offense?
I think what makes forgiveness more difficult for some people than others is that some people are easily offended. Have you ever known anyone that you have to be careful what you say around them because they may take it the wrong way, in other words, perhaps your meaning was misinterpreted by them or taken out of context. Obviously, we’re referring to someone you know on a more personal level, however this could certainly be anyone.
Let’s be clear though, it’s always important to communicate as concisely and responsibly as possible, so that people aren’t confused by your communication. And, it’s also important to check your own motive regarding what you are saying and why? In addition, are you speaking from a subjective or objective voice, this makes all the difference in the world. We all have an opinion on something, as we should. However, some people attempt to make their opinion the facts. And, though all opinions are important and relevant to that individual and should be acknowledged as such, this still doesn’t make them factual.
What is the definition of the word “offended?” The dictionary defines to be offended as, to become resentful or annoyed as the result of a perceived insult. When we have offended someone, anyone through our communication be it, written or verbal, it’s very important to clarify especially when we have feedback and knowledge that an individual has been offended. Obviously, we can’t correct what we’re not aware of. And, this is why any form of communication should always be as concise as possible. Moreover, know your audience. However, if you truly believe what you are communicating is correct and you don’t feel the need to apologize, then don’t. Because, sometimes even when you’re quoting facts with references, people will challenge what you are saying, so you decide if and when it’s appropriate for a rebuttal.
Nonetheless, no matter how clear one is with any form of communication, people can still become offended. Therefore, in cases like that, it’s important to be prepared to apologize for misunderstandings and misinterpretation. I personally believe it’s easier to apologize sometimes than defending your stance. Especially, when you’re dealing with people who are easily offended. This doesn’t mean you are wrong or even at fault. When you have those family gatherings for example or other social gatherings where the conversations have a tendency to become heated over certain hot topics and typically by the same individual (s) then sometimes being prepared to clarify more frequently or apologize might be in order or how about just refraining from participating in discussions with that individual may also be an option.
People that are easily and repeatedly offended usually have certain characteristics, such as; feeling frequently disrespected and inferior according to some studies. Therefore, apologizing is more for your own sense of peace, because what if they don’t forgive you? You can’t make people forgive you any more than you can make them not be offended, however taking the initiative to offer an apology communicates your willingness to resolve the issue and potentially accept the blame for the misinterpretation. Bottom line……you offered a resolution through an apology, so even if the individual refuses to forgive you, you have a clear conscience because you made the attempt to ask for forgiveness, and extended an olive branch of peace.
I believe many of us are experiencing a world wind of emotions regarding the recent and untimely death of George Floyd, including emotional distress as our reactions and the intensity of our outrage has produced anger and passion to advocate for social justice and positive change once and for all, because we’ve finally purposed in our hearts that enough is enough. May his death bring about positive and lasting change for the generations coming up behind us.