Relationships
Let it Flow!
I mentioned last time, when you’ve found the right person, potentially your soulmate……..is dating even necessary? After all, wouldn’t you really be dating your friend?
A promising relationship should unfold and evolve naturally and effortlessly, free from manipulation and coercion. Sometimes, when a person believes they’ve found the right person, the person believes the evolution of the relationship needs help for longevity. However, when a relationship evolves organically, authenticity and truth are created and these characteristics determine the direction of the relationship.
Relationships evolve organically when transparency is the engine and this fleshes out motive, especially wrong motive. Side note, when relationships are burdensome and problematic, this is usually a symptom or red flag that something is wrong. Many times we casually refer to these concerns as hiccups that will resolve themselves on their own, however when they don’t we sometimes still ignore the obvious, which in some cases translate into a relationship that is on life support and instead of pulling the plug, we tell ourselves things will get better if we just hang in there and not give up.
Hence, when a relationship evolves from friendship into something more meaningful and permanent, this transition will be seamless and void of formality and pretense because this relationship was founded and built on kindness, respect, truth and understanding first.
“Attraction is common. What’s rare is having someone who wants to grow and build with you. A soul partner, a soul confidante, a soul mate.” ~Billy Chapata
Relationships should be fun, relaxing, healthy and mutually enjoyable. Relationships should not be draining, labor intensive and depressing. And, is dating really necessary? That’s for another time. Cheers!
Relationships…..the word itself can sound intimidating. Moreover, people have so many interpretations of what they think a relationship is, including you. As, I mentioned in the last article, more serious relationships should grow from meaningful friendships.
Deeper relationships are nurtured out of mutual respect, appreciation, trust, integrity, admiration, commitment, affirmations and prayerfulness. Real relationships are not superficial or skin deep. In other words, deep affection felt towards an individual goes beyond physical beauty, bodily appearance, lust and aesthetics.
And, do you live up to the standards of what you’re looking for in an individual? Many people have this very long unrealistic checklist of what they want in a person. But, do you also check off on that list as well. In other words, do you meet the standards of what you’re looking for. So many of us want this perfect individual that really only exists in our imagination anyway. Also, many of us don’t meet half the standards of what we’re looking for. Therefore, before you begin looking over your shoulder, make sure you have yourself together too.
By the way, do you have standards, a worldview or principles that are your compass for living? What do you believe in? What’s important to you? Have you figured out what your life purpose is? Everyone should have guiding principles or values that shape and influence their sense of self and identity. And, these should be personalized and should not necessarily be influenced by culture or societal norms alone. Your worldview or personal values should be for you and authored by you and should define you and what you believe in.
Finally, as I mentioned last time, when you’ve found the right person, potentially your soulmate is dating even necessary? After all, wouldn’t you really be dating your friend? Stay Tuned.
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I hear single people say fairly frequently that relationships are difficult to start and maintain. I personally believe relationships are fluid and should grow from a natural progression of friendships.
Relationships should not be burdensome, demanding or threatening. And, by the way…what are you looking for in a relationship? Some people don’t move beyond aesthetics. And, though admiring someone who is beautiful and handsome is pleasing to the eyes, what else matters to you? Everyone should have a mental checklist and a set of standards that he or she refuses to compromise.
What I also hear instead, is how competitive the relationship field is these days. So, my question is, what do you bring to the proverbial table of relationships? My late aunt would say, “If you want to find a man that has it going on, then quite naturally, he wants to also find a lady who has it going on as well. In other words, someone who is promising.
What qualities do you look for in a person, I mean beyond how he or she looks? Are you interested in…I don’t know; integrity for example, character, honesty, transparency, their principles and values-what they believe in and does that match your belief system, religious affiliation (Is that important to you), and what about their work ethic? What are you looking for? I think that would determine how much time you give a person.